A Day at the Track

I am catching up on my post - this one is from Wednesday.  May 9.

I am at the track... Not Horse - Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
I love the raceway.  The riotous purr of the engines....  The hum the tires make on the asphalt.  All the sounds echoing together.  Then They Drop The Bass.   (Sound crew testing the system behind me).    I sat in the open area right behind the Pagoda.  That iconic building that says "I'm special.. I get to stay in here while all you peons are in the infield."  


Why am I here on a Wednesday in May.  My buddy Cliff needed a ride and I needed solitude and change of venue to write.    I am learning slowly to not consider that house, my home.  The fact is, wherever I am, is my home.  Where my children are is home.  I finally have peace with it.  I want to start a fresh clean page.


My page has watermarks of the past.. but it can all be covered with fresh words of today hope filled words for tomorrow.


I scan the environment around me.. and take it in.   So much peace in so much chaos.  then I notice.....
There are 2 morning doves working next to me in this atmosphere.   My mind is in writing mode so it makes me analyze.  I have lived much my life like these doves.    Trying to build a nest in the awning.  You see them, grabbing twigs... pieces of hope.  Arranging them together on the I-beam.  Then the trial of winds come and with no word of explanation... blows them all away.


They re-group and start again one flight after the other, collecting any piece of scrap they can and shoving it up into the corner of the awning.  There is no safety there.  It has no real shelter.  It is exposed.  This time the vibration from the music shakes them loose, one piece falls, the dove dives down to rescue its little piece of security, the rest tumble after and the dove flies up through them  panicked.  
Being a carpenter's daughter, I quickly establish the problem... no plan, no structure, no design~!    They may have it in mind, but one was undoing what the other had done to make it their way.  Until one stays and shields the materials, and works with the other when new items of life arrive, this will never happen.  
Then I notice that one dove has been bringing much more than twigs..   Sprays of fur, a piece of fabric.. It has a different way of doing it.  I'ts partner only saw twigs.   When the creative dove would go back out, the twig lover would remove the string, fabric, or fur and re-arrange.  Loosing the materials was inevitable.   They had no mutual design for their life.


The wind came again.  Their materials scatter everywhere and they both fly off.   They did not wait for a moment of peace to work together and build the foundation of their home.  


Their hope scattered to the wind.. over and over.. they kept trying wit the materials life shows them.. straw, string, fur, twigs, brush.. Hope, Dreams, Friends, Lovers, Career, Children....   They just Live, Just Endure.