Today is my birthday. Well, honestly about midnight last night was the anniversary of my birth. I am #8 of 8. I am the only girl. I was born on a Friday the 13 at midnight. My mother and the nurse delivered me. (like she was not a pro by then) and Dad was thrilled that he finally got to give me his name. I was kissed by the angels. (my birth mark is lips on my right shin) and I don't believe I was ever put down until I was 2 years old.
I love that sto's meals Friday and Saturday. Then the kids are over for Sunday am Mom's Birthday Breakfast Bash!! (I love that day). I just want to go sit in a closet and be alone.
I imagine this is one of the steps of grief. I mourned dad before he actually passed. He was suffering from Alzheimers and we knew that time was drawing near. I believe God let me know I needed to be prepared. I cried, got angry - why such a wonderful man had to go through such a horrible disease! I felt sad for me for a day or so, and I went into control freak mode when he actually passed. (sorry to my brothers and family that had to deal with my A personality).
Step, step, step.
But - today... I was not ready for this step. Real emptiness.
The "knowing" that we can't just go see him sitting on the porch.
He is with his Lord. He is happy. He is whole!! I know this and it gives me peace and comfort that you just can not imagine until you experience it.
- But, I just miss him.
I can't say more right now.
Love you dad, baby Girl.
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