OK..
Check, Check... this thing on?
It has been a while since I sat in this chair and opened up for the world to see.
And.. although I will open, I will not open entirely up. THAT would not be the motivation of this blog.
This Blog is to dish my Pain.
- not emotional this time, but physical.
... for some time I have hurt. Physically. But I don't like to whine (too much) so I push it under the surface, deeper and deeper .. and DEEPER. But now.. there is no where left for it to go. I have fibromyalgia. Fun stuff.
Feels like death without dying. I know many have more and greater pain. Mine, however is mine. This makes it NOT trivial to me.
Tonight.. A chest cold has me coughing. That has me crying because of every cough. My body tenses, pulling my bones and nerves. Feeling like i am in a vice. Wishing it could just all stop for one moment. Just some peace.
The nerves in my throat do not allow me to sing any more. (if you know me... OWCH) But in my head there RINGS A MELODY!
Simple task tonight of shaving my legs felt like I was RIPPING flesh off my body.
Why did God put THIS ONE in my path?
Today I told my daughter that NOTHING is above what God wants us to endure.
... OK GOD.. YOU GOT IT!
So here is my truth.
I CRY for no reason, until I realize I am barely breathing because of the pain.
I hide in corners of my house at times, trying to get AWAY from it all.
I smile as a constant reaction to hide what I am afraid people will think is INSANITY.
I am STRONGER than this disorder.
I HATE the medication and cannot live with the side effects.
I know God has cures in His NATURE
I wake every day THANKFUL in my FAITH,
.... because
Without my FAITH.... I am nothing.
And ..we all know.. I am NOT Nothing... I am FABULOUSLY and WONDERFULLY MADE!
Diva
